#wtf has my life come to

[deathwhoregutfucker]

Mayhem catboy + dogboy headcanons

sigh. i had to. i just. had. to do it. i did a dsbm catboy + dogboy hc, so its only right if i do one for mayhem (and some extras)

Pelle - catboy

CATBOY 100%. no question about it man. and it's ironic since he hated cats, but he is such a catboy it's absolutely insane. i don't even know if i need to explain this one. he would always be sleeping and going out in the woods for days and come back into the house as if nothing happened, always bringing back dead animals.

he would also scratch people all of the time.

Øystein Aarseth - catboy (dogboy vibes kinda??)

i feel like he's half and half if that makes sense. but let's just say he's a catboy for the sake of this. i feel like he'd be a little hyper, but not too much. and he would love to mess with varg.

Varg Vikernes - wolf/dogboy (alpha?!?!?!?1//1/)

i mean, his name translates to wolf in english, of course he's a dogboy.

he and Øystein would be at each others necks alllll of the time, like it's not even funny. they'd have a love hate relationship (see? varg's holding him in the picture and look how pissy they look!!) and they would always end up spending time with each other.

also, varg would have a majorrrrr biting problem. he wouldn't scratch that much, but he'd be a biter.

he would hate cuddling, but sometimes he'd let Øystein lay down with him, sometimes, but only when they got cold. nothing gay about that, right?

he would also slip catnip into food just to mess with him.

Necrobutcher - dogboy. end of story

look he's even pissing outside!! such a dogboy. he's such a dogboy it's not even funny. he'd have a biting issue, but it wouldn't be mean like varg. he would bite when he gets excited. he's also best friends with hellhammer too.

i mean, is this man not a lapdog??

like if he sits i'll give him a treat!

Hellhammer - dogboy

had to include that last picture because i just love a man on his knees

but anyway, total dogboy, best friends with necro. i feel like he'd be pretty calm though, he wouldn't cause any trouble. i feel like he’d be superrrr clumsy though, he'd always be knocking shit over left and right. but just look at him. he's just too cute.

he'd also be super clingy too. he'd always try to befriend varg, and varg wouldn't like it at first but he'd get used to it after a little while. but of course, necro is his number one bestie.

Manheim - catboy

do i need to explain?? i mean just look at him and euro being kitty cats together. little cuties!

Faust - CATBOY

catboy all the way. besties with fenriz too, probably has a crush on varg (repressed homosexuality)(also he's in my warewolf!varg fanfic i'm writing soooo yayyyayayay but he's a wolf but for the sake of this he's a catboy) BUT ANYWAYSS. i feel like he'd be pretty friendly unless you got on his nerves. god i just wanna give him catnip yknow?

Fenriz - DOGGYYYYWOOOF WOOF WOOF BARK

the literal goodest boy in the entire world, no question about it. he'd be super hyper and clumsy. he'd go insane for treats too, like, you couldn't even spell the word treat without him losing his everloving shit. and varg would always tease him with them too.

doggy fenriz is adorable.

[ashtheslut]

it's 01:41 on Jan 1st and I just restarted pokemon ultra moon to try and remember the year 2017

[its-your-mind]

[tonia-aaaaa]

My favourite disfunctional block man throuple<333

[charmwitch]

No one should be surprised at me drawing this.

Thank you for your time.

[wikitpowers]

tlkof chapter 1 without context

[triglycercule]

wahhh wahhh triglycercule post more NON jk fashion au related content i whisper as i post this. double post today because i genuinely love jk!dream and also if i dont post the dreamtale twins together i will actually die! you might consider her crazy way of somehow getting into trouble a form of bad luck but i see it as more of a being too pure for the world meeting a world that's not all that great. jk!dream lives up to her name she is a idyllic dream

valedictorian. practically a million extra curriculars. she can sing she can dance she can cook she can do advanced math she can fix a car jk!dream is everything jk!nightmare isn't (a loser). the types of trouble she gets into though aren't manmade (like some guy trying to rob her) but instead are naturally occurring. like one day the dreamtale household washing machine explodes because dream used it and coincidentally it was because it was faulty or something like that. really really crazy coincidences

nightmare is a fighting force in keeping her little sister alive i swear to god. she has to monitor dream a lot and when she can't she gets one of the mtt to do it for her. because if she doesn't there is bound to be something that hurts her. and because jk!nightmare is an absolute fucking loser who's stupid she came up with the genius idea of roleplaying a bigger issue than the one that dream's about to encounter (because then she gets to keep her safe and also feed into her pretend villian persona). like for example with the washing machine thing earlier nightmare would probably distract dream with some sort of evil monologue and then put her own load in the washer before she could. that way it won't FUCKING EXPLODE (comments from currently existing jk fashion au sanses :3)

"ah, my younger kin, dream. quite an enigma she is. on one hand, she's the epitome of perfection. even i can admit that, for she's loved by our school, family, and i. but of course, like all aside from i, she has her faults."

"for example, last week, our bloodline was strolling around the kingdom on the search for a new mirror of truth, as the one in our castle bathhouse had shattered. how did that happen? uh, i might've maybe... i shall maintain secrecy."

"returning to the point, dearest dream had almost lost herself in the shopping district, claiming she had seen a lost puppy in a mirror that she wanted to help. a chivalrous reason indeed, but my, dream can be quite... foolish sometimes. nevertheless, blood is thicker than water, and our bond has never been closer."

they still love eachother in this universe because there was no corruption thing. also nightmare's bullies were just other elementary school kids in this au so it wasn't like fully grown adults vs a 6 year old at least. she's recovered from it (somewhat) and doesn't blame dream. dream's too perfect for anybody to hate her. dream supports nightmare's delusion and nightmare keeps her alive. equivalent exchange (dream has no idea nm is doing this. ok now the mtt‼️

"oh. my. god. dream? like, dream dream? she's literally my idol, i love her so much! i'm the 7th member of her fanclub out of like, the entire school, which is like 300-ish students! she's cute, and pretty, and she gets this a lot, but her voice is literally like an angel's~ i've never heard what a hymn sounds like, but it probably sounds like dream's voice. and no matter how much i search up online, i can never find any dirt on her too! she's got a perfect online footprint! huh? why was i searching dream up? eh... haha... let's move on~"

"dream? she's really cool. there's a reason she's part of the star students at this school, along with swap and ink. nobody really knows what it takes for someone to become a "star student" though. none of the students know, none of the teachers either. apparently it's a title given to a student specifically from the principal? still, dream probably deserves it though. she's good enough to win a nobel prize. one day she's gonna cure cancer or something."

"oh, dream? that girl with the angel halo crown thing? yeah, i know her. she volunteers at the dog park i bring my dog to, the bakery i go to get snacks, the local art museum, the ice cream shop during summers, nightmare's gang, the... car dealership? wait, hold on. how many volunteer opportunities is this girl doing? is she not getting paid? that has to be illegal. or at least some form of monster rights violation..."

both of the jk!au dreamtale twins are soooo silly i love them. the more and more i elaborate on jk fashion au the more i realize that this is just turning into sans aus but anime tropes but its okay i like it its funny. jk fashion au was always meant to be silly and slice of life and fluffy anyways. anyways i love her i'm literally her number one fan. i mean i AM the principal of this school aftersll,,,,,, this really was our,,, jk fahsion au. says dream at the end of the au (there is no end because this au has no lore what am i talking about

[autisticlenaluthor]

BESTIES GUESS WHO FINISHED WITH A 4.0 GPA DESPITE MISSING 2 STRAIGHT WEEKS OF SCHOOL BECAUSE OF BACK TO BACK HOSPITALIZATIONS?! THE ALL-NIGHTERS PAYED OFF!!

[5a-alf]

Btw if anyone is wondering in my au the numbers on their cheeks are arabs numbers not roman numerals

Why?

Well you see,, these guys are losers.

The roman numerals version fucks too much and 9 years old who grew on the court aren't going to think about numerals (well, actually, maybe kevin would because he is a history nerd. But he's not making the decisions) they are going to think of jerseys . So.

Unfortunately that's how it goes.

[elfboypussy]

hmmm little sketchy of the century-later a!ast au design that lives in my head. i am completely a sucker for scary vampires with long hair but also i think astarion may subconsciously take after cazador after a while

[magnificentposting-fabrizioart]

Mocenigo Appreciation Time

Today's National Italian Day, so in honour of our Repubblic let's hear it for an older repubblican italian rep, AND the most randomly bullied character in the first 10+ Episodes.

Btw Ibrahim pretending not to speak italian for a while just to be able to annoy the guy by mocking his hat, and then do the power move of "I too can actually speak an hilarious broken italian instead of the Venetian we're supposed to be speaking" is the moment in which he first lost points in my book.

Dat Kafir drip, tho.

[ducktollers]

got a sortof interview for a research assistant job tomorrow and sooooooooo scareds :D

[lesbiansanemi]

I am so fucking sick of living with my roommate and his fuck ass boyfriend. Also watching my roommate burn every single one of his (already rather minimal, I might add) bridges for this guy is also kind of painful but also his relationship with me is one of said bridges so I'm almost past the point of even feeling bad for him lmao

[angeltism]

If it's close enough to Halloween for the Costco I go to to sell costumes then I think it's close enough to my birthday (the day before Halloween) for me to be annoying about it

[robotpussy]

this white woman is threatening to call the police on me after she fucking sprayed bathroom cleaner in my fucking face and lashed out and told her to fuck off

[aq2003]

sorry i am still super sick and illnessed over percy and cass and i need to explode. percy who had been driven by nothing but grief and revenge for years and his soul slowly eaten by a demon bc he thought he had no one left to live for. cass who had spent years being manipulated by the briarwoods and resenting percy for leaving her behind bc that was easier than accepting that she had lost the last of her family. both of them having their grief and trauma being taken advantage of for so long and then both of them breaking free of it bc of the realization of "there are still people left in my life that care about me". they are all that's left of the de rolos and the one thing they can do is just be there for each other . like.,. fuck!!!!!! also percy couldn't kill delilah bc he already lost so much of himself to revenge (both in terms of his mind and his actual soul) but cass could bc she was so deprived of any ability to hit back against the people that hurt her . GOD. i'll never be normal about them and also i am always thinking about this shot specifically